What to Expect in Couples Counseling (2023)


What to Expect in Couples Counseling.

In this video we will be covering what to expect in couples counseling.

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In this video we will be reviewing 4 things to expect in couples counseling.

If you are looking into starting couples counseling, these 4 things may be helpful to know and understand what to expect before getting started with couples counseling.

Here are some recommended books for helpful communication skills and relationship building:

The 5 Love Languages:

The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition:

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love:

AMAZON AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: This video description contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, I will receive a small commission that does not affect the pricing of your item.

Take a look at our "Communication Skills" playlist:

***If you have any questions, please feel free to comment below or email me.***
Email: Gabriel@soaringfamiliescounseling.com

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Hello, everyone in today's video we're going to talk about what to expect in couples counseling.

My name is gabriel arroyo and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist located in southern california.

If you're new to the channel.

Welcome, I'm super happy to have you here be sure to subscribe, to stay up to date with our weekly videos on mental health, related topics and helpful coping skills free to apply in your own everyday lives.

So in today's video we're talking about what to expect in couples counseling.

So the first thing that I recommend is essentially knowing what you are going to couples counseling for so the first time that I ever talk to a client either with the initial phone call or the initial session.

I ask right out the gate.

What is it that we're doing here, and I want to make sure that all parties involved are working on the same goal? So that is something you could expect in treatment with couples therapy is.

Is we want to help you with whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish so a couple could be working on improving the relationship, improving communication being proactive in the relationship dynamics or even breaking up or splitting apart in a healthy way.

So you could expect those kind of questions to be asked by your therapist and trying to find out what it is that we are here to help you with so have that in mind with your partner, so that way, we're all on the same page and we're ready to roll the most important thing to expect and understand about couples.

Counseling is we're not really advising you one way or the other we're essentially facilitating and helping you to build on the skills that you need to accomplish your goals.

So I have a lot of couples that come in they're like yeah.

You know like you, can see that we're arguing a lot.

Should we break up and I just put my hands up.

I'm like whoa.

Like I don't know you tell me like.

What's your goal, your goal was to improve the relationship.

So let's work on that.

So what you can expect from your therapist when you're working in couples counseling, is to facilitate skills just like any other form of therapy, we're trying to help you to accomplish your own individual goals, not necessarily to lead you in a direction of breaking up or repairing or whatever the case may be, so we're helping you to build on the skills that you are asking for to accomplish your goal.

So you could expect your marriage or couples counselor to be an objective party to help facilitate the direction to wherever it is that you're trying to go another thing to expect in couples.

Counseling is, what's called a no secrets policy now, most therapists, if not all therapists, have what's called a no secrets policy.

I practice this with all my couples and one of the first things that I tell them is I don't hold anybody's secrets and why I do this or why we all as therapists do.

This is because we don't want to create dynamics to where we're taking sides with anybody or we're holding information from the other partner.

So I tell my clients, if you tell me something in that initial phone call or if you're, if you're texting me or calling me about something, that's going on feelings, thoughts or concerns that you're having within your relationship, I'm expecting that to come out in treatment in front of your partner, because I want to make sure that we're all feeling uh that we're confident in treatment and we're feeling secure and that it is a safe environment to where we're all working on your guys's established goals.

So the no secrets policy and then finally, the last thing to expect- is you get what you put into it? So you get what you put into it as far as the work um? What I I usually tell my couples is I'm not building your relationship for you right that that's impossible.

I give you some skills and some tools, but that's about it.

It's up to you to do the work to accomplish your goal.

So what I highly recommend is whatever the exercises or recommendation or whatever it is that we're working on a treatment or you're working on a treatment with your own couple's counselor, follow it, and now I know that some of the things can feel a little silly and hokey.

I do the exercises too.

I take great pride in anything that I recommend I practice myself.

So when I'm working with couples- and I recommend a repeat after me- exercise or asking for clarification or asking for intention like, I know they feel uncomfortable, they feel awkward.

It's like who talks like this right, but I do I deal with my own partner, so I practice these skills and I know it feels uncomfortable and it feels awkward, but ultimately, it's helping us to improve communication improve on the skills in order to reach our goals.

So I highly recommend follow up with whatever the directives are or the exercises that your couple's, therapist or counselor is helping you with.

So once again, keep your goals in mind.

Remember about the no secrets, policy and work on the stuff, that's being recommended to you.

Speaking of recommendations below in the description, I have a bunch of books and materials that I personally use and recommend for my couples.

So take a look uh and if you have any other questions, please comment below I'll, get back to you as soon as possible and once again, if you're new to the channel be sure to subscribe, to stay up to date with our weekly videos on mental health, related topics and helpful coping skills free to apply in your own everyday lives.

Thank you.



What to Expect in Couples Counseling? ›

Couples and Marriage Counseling Session Questions

13 – What's standing in the way of your relationship being as good as you want it to be? 14 – Are you currently happy? What could you do to be happier in your relationship? 15 – Do you feel emotionally close to your partner?

What questions to expect in couples therapy? ›

Couples and Marriage Counseling Session Questions

13 – What's standing in the way of your relationship being as good as you want it to be? 14 – Are you currently happy? What could you do to be happier in your relationship? 15 – Do you feel emotionally close to your partner?

What happens in a couples Counselling session? ›

Through the therapy process, the psychologist / couples therapist will try to help both partners see the relationship in a more objective way. This includes learning to stop blaming each other for problems and viewing the problems in the relationship as something which involves both partners.

What percentage of couples make it through counseling? ›

According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, the success rate of marriage counseling is around 70%.

What not to talk about in couples therapy? ›

1. "Don't tell my husband/wife this, but ..." Sorry, as marriage counselors we're not supposed to take sides and we can't keep important secrets from your partner. If you don't want your partner to know about it, don't tell your marriage counselor about it.

How successful is couples Counselling? ›

In fact, research shows that couples therapy positively impacts 70% of those receiving treatment. And for many couples, seeking out professional help can be the difference between making the long haul or becoming a divorce statistic.

What questions do therapists ask? ›

During therapy, clients are often asked questions to help them tune in to their immediate experiences, such as: What are you feeling? What are you thinking? How does your body feel right now?

What's the difference between couples therapy and couples Counselling? ›

Marriage counseling might be a bit less formal and more short-term than couples therapy, and it isn't just for couples with problems — think: premarital counseling. While it can help couples work through issues, marriage counseling can also help prepare a relationship for future challenges.

How long does couples therapy last? ›

It can take some couples years of therapy to work through issues, while others need just a few months. The length of time depends on the severity of the problem, plus the amount of effort a couple is willing to put in.

What is the most common reason a couple seeks counseling? ›

One of the most common reasons for seeking couples therapy is the need for help in overcoming a major breach of trust. Perhaps it was infidelity; perhaps it was an emotional affair; perhaps it was a series of lies or deception about money.

How hard is couples therapy? ›

Couples sessions can be scenes of rapid escalation uncommon in individual therapy, and even in family therapy. Lose control over the process for 15 seconds and you can have spouses screaming at each other and wondering why they're paying you to watch them mix it up.

What are the benefits of couples therapy? ›

Builds understanding and empathy in your relationship: Going to couples counseling can help you understand your partner better. Over several counseling sessions, you might gain a new perspective on the world. Likewise, your partner can develop a better understanding of your thoughts and experiences.

What is the first step in couples therapy? ›

Step One: Intake

It is useful to collect some basic information at the start of the first session, such as the number of years the couple has been together, the current living situation, special health issues, prior counseling experiences, employment, and special interests.

What topics should be discussed in marriage counseling? ›

Counseling can help you start your marriage with mutual understanding and trust when you take steps to address the must discuss topics like your sexual relationship, family, concerns around career and work life balance, money, and children. A counselor can help you have structured conversations related to your future.

What is one of the most important targets of couples therapy? ›

Coming to counseling to understand each other more deeply is a fundamental goal that is a great indicator of success. Enhance Intimacy: Intimacy is vital, as we thrive on close personal relationships with one another. However, intimacy is often solely thought of as a sexual relationship between two people.

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